Me and things I don't understand

Do you guys ever pretend that there is always somebody watching you?  Someone you might just want to impress.  I do this about 90% of my life.  My time is everybody’s time.  This might sound a little conceded, but hey, I have to live with myself my whole life.  Sometimes I play music with my windows down in a public parking lot, even though I was listening to a sci-fi podcast on the drive.  I’m not blaring the music, but I am thinking “hey maybe someone will dig my music and hangout with me.” I’ll sometimes try to yawn and stretch in a sexy manner; people might disagree what I propose as sexy.  I don’t know, it’s just something I’ve done for a long time.  Since I was a kid, I’d play on our outside basketball court and pretend there was a full stadium of people rooting me on.

Why are people always in such a big fuckin rush?  As you age, are you enlightened with some kind of knowledge that beckons haste? Like the world is going to literally shit on you some kind shit that permanently halts your mobility or you heart will stop beating unless you pump it with adrenaline like that movie Crank.  I just don’t get it.

Do you think people who watch too many movies or read too much lose touch of reality?  I mean love is kind of a perfect setup for those mediums.  You find a gal, have a great time, go home with her, have great sex or talk for hours, and then either see her or don’t see here again.  And if you don’t see her again, you don’t stress out cause the movie only has 30 minutes left.

Let’s talk about ice breakers.  I’m not good at them.  I usually just bring up the big three: movies, music, and books.  Where general questions about a topic are boring and specific ones are considered snobby.  Another approach, I’ve used, is to mention something on your mind.  This tends not to fend well with strangers, definitely if it’s a bit right field (or is it left).  They either think you’re interesting, until you continue talking about it, or strange (not as strange as the kid in dreads playing with the neon hula-hoop, but strange enough to ignore).  So what do you talk about?  Yourself, politics, conspiracies, favorite babysitters, that restaurant you want to open.  I don’t know.

This post really shows how much I love writing about myself.  Actually the whole blog thing does.

Vid of the day:

To infinity and beyond.

Hey guys,

I’m writing this in a plane.  Some people have anxiety before a flight, but I love it.  I love it from the initial take off, climbing speeds of 200 mph in just a couple of seconds, to the landing where you feel the jolt of the plane landing and gravity bitch slapping you in the face for ignoring it.  During flight, the plane transcends reality into a bitter, sweet blizzard of clouds.  From way up high, the ground below loses its complexity and become an easy 500 piece puzzle.  Life feels simple and manageable.

I find myself thinking a lot before a flight.  Thinking of my friends, family, latest crush, gin and tonics, and the rest of the day is going to play out.  I want to have those memories backed up if we do crash and burn.

I have been real busy lately.  I got a new position at work, met a nice lady who I turned off by trying to turn on (Maybe I have lost the ability to kiss passionately), made a kegerator, and got drunk.  And now I’m flying to Orlando for two weeks to setup a meeting for 10,000 folks.

Friday, my roommates and I hosted a classy party.  Here are some of the highlights:

• 20 + people dressed up all fancy
•  Walked around with appetizers: citrus onion tomato brochette with melted mozzarella, cream-cheese caper and lox brochette, chocolate-hazelnut banana foster brochette, cream-cheese raspberry preserve brochette, stuffed mushrooms, spinach-stuffed pork tenderloin, and jalapeño popper wrapped in bacon.
• Photo booth with Mallory the photographer (she’s pretty much pro)
• Lots of Frank Sinatra
• Raffling out of a King of the Cosmos hat
• Midnight toast with Champagne
• Transition of classy to skanky with the revealing of the kegerator (filled with Fat Tire!)

Question of the day:

Do you like straight up cranberry juice or one of the funky Cran creations?  Or do you not even like cranberry juice and wish people would stop asking you?

Pics of the day:

Leggo my burrito

Mirror Mirror on the wall whose got the grandest burrito of them all?
I'm on my burrito kick again and going BIG.  I don't need those tiny, kiddie burritos taco bells been screaming about, I want a super, duper baby-sized burrito.  A daunting burrito of legendary status, cascading shadows on my plate and tormenting my not-so-equal belly.
Recently, I have found one of these so-called Uber burritos at a local Mexican restaurant hidden in the corner of a Hispanic supermarket.  I couldn't even eat all of it, and if you know me, I can put the smack down on some food.  But it was very enjoyable and accompanied with salsa verde...yummmy.  After eating my burrito, I talked to the waitress and she told me they sell the burrito shells in the supermarket.  So I went and picked some up along with a random Mexican pastry (I've always gotta try one).

So now, with the power of the big wraps, I'm off to making my own grande burritos.  The first burrito made was an eggplant one.  The stuffing included an eggplant mixture with onions, garlic, tomatoes, and a few spices.  Spices were pretty simplistic, just basil, thyme, pepper and salt (I like to keep the eggplant flavor intact).  After braising eggplant, to give it a firm exterior, I sauted it with the rest of the ingredients for 10 minutes, holding back the tomatoes until the last 5 minutes of cooking.  Next I placed fresh mozzarella strips on top and threw the whole mess in the oven for 10 minutes at 350.
Took the eggplant stuff out of the oven, warmed up a mega tortilla, and dumped the eggplant contents into it with a cup of cooked rice.  Giving it the fold and tuck, I realized the monster that was created.  Commanding it to rise up and face its master, one hand on the bottom, the other midway up its side, I stared into it slightly tanned face. It was love at first site and all I could think to do was eat it.  So I did.

Tonight is going to be another burrito night; I'm thinking chicken stroganoff.

Question of the day.
What should I put in my giant tortillas?

Fact of the day:
Taco bell doesn't care about you, and their meat is mostly fake. http://bit.ly/gHNupl

Picture of the day:

stole this pic from swisher

Rock n Roll Bitches

So far I've fucked up two New Years resolutions.  But the year is still chugging along and that's a good thing.

It's been snowing a lot lately.  The city has turned into one big iced cupcake.  No snowmen have been created and the Mexicans next door don't have any lawns to mow, meaning my neighborhood is unemployed.  But I like the snow, I like its shimmering crystal look and feel that doesn't give me one significant glimpse into the future.

I watched a western a few weeks back, "Two Meals for Sister Sara".  It's about an ugly nun whose intentions are good, but she's shit out of luck, stuck in the desert with her only friend Clint Eastwood.  Not a bad friend to have in the wild junkyards of south Texas.  With two loaded guns and a attitude to match, Clint's one hell of a ladies man.  I should probably study his actions and take course, but instead I sit on my ass with only the visions of a blazing, battling drunk Indians and scantily clad women dancing atop bar tables.

I've been trying to become more productive.  Watched some tutorials on film editing, cleaned my bathtub, and started drinking bourbon straight.  I've also been reading quite a bit.  Just finished a book about two factions in an information security war, one who still and one who protects, set in a futuristic world where a random data shuffler gets mixed up with the wrong people.  The story deals with the subconscious, alternate realities, unicorns, and chubby lady who wears all pink suits.  Below you will find the playlist I listened to during those last, crucial chapters of the book.  It's a composition of classical, jazz, and a touch of bob dylan.  Enjoy.

http://listen.grooveshark.com/playlist/Just+Another+Day/43086520?src=5

Recipe of the day:

So being stuck in your house for four days because of the snow makes you realize how empty your cupboard really is.  That being said, I got creative and made some tasty-ass gravy beef tips.  Recipe is as follows:

1 cups of red beans

1 onion

1 tbs ground caraway seed

1 tsp celery salt

2 cups of chicken stock

2 cups of water

1 pound of beef tips

3 chopped garlic

1 tbs of molasses

1/2 cup of red wine

2 tbs of butter

1/2 package of country gravy mix

First cook your beans!  I did the quick soak method to prep them before cooking, but if time allows, go ahead and soak them over night.  Once a little soft to touch, simmer them in the water and chicken stock for one hour.  When you have 15 minutes left of that hour add the chopped onions, caraway seeds, and celery salt to the mix.  Also begin working on that beef.

Grab yourself a cast-iron skillet (the older the better - steal grandmas, it's her secret weapon) and throw in your beef tips and garlic with a splash of olive oil.  Once you see them start browning, drizzle in the molasses and add the wine (start drinking the rest of the bottle, it makes the meal taste better).  Let that set for about 5 to 10 minutes at a medium low temperature.  Next add the butter and gravy to the batch of goodness, and let that sit at the same temperature for until the beans are done.  Then drain your beans, keep a cup of the liquid and put it to the side.  Add the beans and let the whole thing become bubbly at medium heat for about 10 minutes.  Add water if it become too thick.

Take off stove and put it over white rice.  Yummmy!

Question of the day:

If they made a new paper bill whose face do you want to see on it?

Pic of the day:

Yummy...it's a new year!

Hey guys.
So it's a new year and I have the feeling it's going to be a good one.  Well it better be cause I got a tattoo of dino yelling it!  This year things are going to change, not drastically, but change for the better.  I even made a list.  With check marks!  Thanks Sara for the idea.
So here's 2011 in nutshell.

Read at least 1 book a month
Write a screen play and try to film/sell it
Update blog once per week
Learn a new language
Take GRE and make 1200 or better
Enroll in Food Science Graduate program
Start a small business
Start a podcast
Learn a mixing/sample software
      Create some electronic songs
      Create songs with the keyboard
Learn the art of extreme couponing
Make a kegerator
Brew my own beer
Trade some stock and learn the market
Research sites of France and England
Throw crawfish broil
Make boardgame
Get a deeper understanding of superposition

Yeah, it's pretty big and bold list, but I'm going to do it.
So one items -besides the blog one, obviously- I've been working on already is creating a movie script.  I've got two scripts ideas, both dealing with obstacles faced in a non-traditional relationship and the interworkings of those types of relationships.  Yes, some people might say I'm fulfilling on of my most desired fantasies about being in a committal/confusing/living relationship with a 40 plus year old woman through the use of ink and paper, but I'm not

Living update.  My sister just moved back to Arkansas so people might meet her or see her around.  She's a very tiny woman with a big attitude.  Seriously, don't get in her way unless you want to het the shit beat out of you.

Question of the day:
If you could create a KFC Double Down competitor, what would it be?

Harry Potter has got the ginger fever

Hi world.

Yeah, I’m really good at this whole blog thing.  Rarely posting and kind of not checking in other people's post.  Actually my posting follows the moon cycles (or maybe it’s the Twilight t movie premiers)

Well, today I left work early.  My stomach is super pissed off and I've got a major headache.  Acid reflux tries to be my best friend, but I don't want it to.  It sucks.  Acid reflux, for you unfamiliar with this little bastard, is caused by everything you love:  Caffeine, Spicy foods, Deep-fried food, Drinking, Smoking and Buffets.  It basically says I can't go to the Golden Coral anymore.  Meaning I can't go on any my more first dates.  I'm no weatherman, but it feels like there is a shit storm in my body. Oh yeah, one of the symptoms of acid reflux is "elevated hormone levels during pregnancy".  Have you ever had lava come out of your ass?

Now on to more important news.  I bought 4lbs of green coffee beans: 2 from Panama (cupping score: 8.9/10) and 2 from Kenya (cupping score: 9.3/10).  It's a hobby I tried to do last year, but never could do it because I never bought any of the stuff for it.  Kind of just forgot about it and went on with my life.  I do that a lot with like everything. One time I bought one of those teddy bear cheese dispensers, then never got any cheese.  Yeah, it happens and I don't own a damn cow or a goat.  Been thinking about getting a goat.  Probably keep him in the back yard where he can cut the lawn and eat old beer cans.  Sorry goat, but you got to work for the badass life I'm about to give you.

Who's watching Walking Dead on AMC?  Do it!  Think of each episode as a lesson in life and the undead.  You'll need them, trust me.  Also I think a zombie who was a former UFC fighter would be very hard to beat.  John McClane would also be difficult to beat.

Question:  When and why did people start nicknaming the brain a noodle?  I'm Italian and I know noodles, and there is no resemblances at all.

Pic of the day:

That’s shtick, bye.

Bigons are bullshit

Halloween is supposed to be scary, but it isn't scary at all.  People have lost sight of its true meaning: Death and making kids cry!  Now people just take Halloween as a day to dress really scanky.  Where's the goblin, vampires, and werewolves. I'll tell you where, in the movies making out with each other and showing off their cleavage and causing inter-species drama.  I don't think parents understand that Twilight is teaching their kids bestiality and pedophilia.  He's a fuckin 200 years older than her, that's some serious shit.  Ok, whatever.  I don’t see how that is ok when I still get bad looks from every parent at a park.

I have to work on Turkey day.  Good thing I already celebrated.  Earlier in the month of october, I really craved some Turkey.  And instead of staring at the object I loathed (i can be creepy), I took my two hands and made something happen.  That's right, I smoked that bad boy for 8 hours and had myself, and a few friends, a good ol' Thanksgiving dinner equipped with cranberry sauce, tators, chicken salad, and stuffed mushrooms!  Yummy Yummy

Ok big news, here it goes.  Got a new car.  I know, finally.   It's a 2006 VW Jetta and things work in it.  For all you who don't know, I've had the same old car since I was 15 years old.  A 1993 Mazda protege with god know hows many miles (cause the odometer broke) and a lot of non-working buttons.
In memory of my car, AKA mobmobile, here's some times we shared that I will never forget:

• Setting my grandma's throw pillow on fire which in turn set my backseat on fire
• Rolling around downtown with hubcap spinners while jamming the new kylie minogue single
• Battle of the ants
• Sex Ghosts fogging up my window
• Homer going gangster
• Dashboard Jesus turning albino
• Always getting the attention of the ladies by the screeching sounds it made.

Goodbye car, you will be missed.  People at work are actually considering buying you off me to shoot you with their big guns.  That might just be your fate.  Sorry about that.

Question:  Did you ever own a pair of Moon Shoes or Heelys?
I had heelies with with ABEC-7 wheels.  Booyah!