Moms and Cats

You know how that dude got famous with his twitter account "shit my dad says", well I need to replicate it, but instead use my mother.  Today, she sent me a message, using her new favorite technology texting, that said "I got charged for a kids price at the movies!  Do I look 14?" My response, appropriately, was "You go girl!"  Actually with her recently acquired free time, we've been hanging out quite a bit.  Cooking once a week, going to movies, and getting coffee.  It's weird, but I've learned more about my Mom in the last 2 months, than I had from living in the same house for 18 years.  I guess, that's just how things work out.

One thing my Mom always brings to my house is a goodie bag.  Now everybody's Mom, or Dad, or grandparents, carry around a thing called a goodie bag.  Whether it be chocolate delights, water guns, or just old shit they found in the attic, the goodie bag exists.  For me, it exists every week.  And every week I obtain new oddities that sit in my house because I don't have the heart to throw any of them away.  I'm also a pack rat, but we'll get to that another day.  This weeks bag was pretty random like most weeks. Listed below are some of the items:

• Pencil sharpener
• Two magnet clamps
• Two pan scrapers
• Poster of Arkansas Delta Family Gospel Fest
• Plastic cup
• Box of Fiber One bars
• Four Arkansas Animal Guides (Birds, Snakes, Waterfoul, Fish)
• Wildlife calender and pencil
• Riceland frisbee
• Two coupon pages (Burger King and IHOP)

So my cat is on vacation at the Reilly's house, and I miss it a bunch.  Last I heard, it's getting along with the other cats, cleaning them and occasionally staring out the window.  That's pretty much sums up Lilly's life, adventure and mystery wrapped up in a giant ball of hair.

Before the trip to Russellville I found learned something new. One of the most daunting feats a man can take is getting a cat into a car.  They really don't like surprises, car trips, and they will meow a lot.  Like 30 minutes worth, then realize that it's not too bad and there are worse things that could be happening.  Lilly finally came to this realization and began to explore, eventually tiring out and falling asleep in my lap.  Towards the end of the ride, she woke up, placed her paws on the window seal, and hung her head out the window like a dog.  Talk about getting a lot strange looks from truckers.

Question of the day:

What is your favorite meme?

Stress and Disney World

Hey.  Let's talk about stress.  Everybody gets it; some people know how to deal with it and some do not.  Most types of stress can be placed into two categories: eustress and distress.  Eustress is a positive form of stress that happens when you complete something or have desirable events happen in your life.  Distress on the hand is a piece of shit.  This bad boy carries some nasty kinds of medical conditions like psychological coping and anxiety.  According to the General Adaptation Syndrome, stress follows three stages.  Alarm is the first stage is activated by a stressor or threat.  Now the funny thing is this threat can be real or fantasy.  And if you pick fantasy, you're on a road of fatigue.  Because the real world really isn't too bad, and there's always a point when everything works out.  The fantasy world doesn't have those limitations.  And without walls, it is free to manifest into a phoenix.  This phoenix has a pretty likely chance to drive you bat-shit crazy over and over again.  That's when stage number two happens, Resistance.  You try to find a way to cope with it.  I prefer to drink a lot.  Once you've depleted your coping resources, or bottle of Jack.  You fall right into the third stage (or maybe a screen door), Exhaustion. This can result in fatigue, high-blood pressure, or getting sick.  For me, I get sick and my balls start to hurt.  Yes, I'm pretty sure it's not normal.  It's probably due to getting punched in a balls everyday at recess from Joseph Newton.  I don't really know, but it sucks.  I'm actually writing this post to not think of them.

Ok, enough of the bullshit, let's talk about Disney World and all the rides I'm going to fucking own.  If you're not in the know, Disney is one of the happiest places in the world.  There's cotton candy, talking mice, fireworks, and a big fuckin castle.  This is a fantasy land that actually exists.  As soon as you walk in, all your problems melt away and you become a 10 year kid with a brand new pair of roller blades.  This year is going to be even more awesome than ever because we are going in October.  This means three very important things, no lines, Star Tours and Mickey's Not-so-Scary Halloween Party.  Boooyah, big time!  Yeah, that means all day power hours, the original dark lord (not that voldermort asshole), and goofy kids running around with goofy costumes.  It is going to be epic.  Just so you can have a little taste, check out this video.

Question of the day

Mr. or Mrs. Pacman?

Laziness and Scripts

Hey.

I had an enlightenment moment today.  I was eating a no-bake cookie and glossing over an internet article about computer patent wars when I realized I've been a lazy piece of shit lately.  I realized how much I complain about my current situation in life and stress about the impending future, but don't do anything, or almost anything, about it.  I half-ass things.  I start something, but don't finish it.  I write scripts, but don't film them.  I study for the GRE, but don't take the test.  I watch TV, but never get past the second season.  I think it's about time to finalize something worthwhile.  To stay focused and craft something from start to finish.  It's time to grow up and be awesome.


Talking about scripts, David and I have been working on a couple of them.  One is a dark comedy about kidnapping, and the other is about samurais.  I know, pretty deep shit.  We haven't finalize any of the scripts, but the dark comedy, after some dialog rehashing, is almost ready to film.  But we need people, props and a place to shoot.  We're being doing auditions soon for the parts, we've got a couple people in mind.  We also need an old-style diner to shoot the film, you know, the one with checkered walls and those bars with the cute, red seats that spin.  If you know of that kind of place, let us know.  The samurai film is just in its beginning stages.  I fill you in with more details as they come.


Ok, recipe time!  This week's recipe is a simple one where you can substitute, and create something totally different tasting.  It is also a good recipe for those tiring days at work, where you get home stare blankly in the fridge looking for something quick to make so you can completely be useless for the rest of the night (not a bad thing).  Ok, now feast your eyes on simplicity.

rice parts
1 cup of rice
2 cups of water
1 tsp of salt

sauce parts
1 carrot (diced)
1 potato (cubed)
1/2 onion (diced)
1 tsp of marjoram
1/2 tsp of mustard seed (ground)
1 tsp of salt
1 beef bouillon cube
1 cup of water
1 large tomato (diced)

Throw rice ingredients in steamer and flick it on, or add parts to a pot, bring it to boil, and then simmer with lid on for about 22 minutes or so.

To make the sauce,  add onion, carrot and potato to a pan with olive oil on medium heat.  Saute for about 7 minutes, or until the onions begin to brown.  Now add the spices and cook another minute.  Then add water and bouillon.  Bring to a boil on high heat, mixing to stir in beef bouillon.  Next lower heat to a simmer, add tomatoes, and cook until half original volume (about 10 minutes).

Cool sauce and top rice with it.  Good eats!  For future recipes, play around with the ingredients.  Try using chicken stock, instead of beef, or change the spices to be more Chinese influenced.

Question of the day
What is your favorite band from the 90s?

Summer and Spain

Hey.

It's been a great summer so far.  I've been enjoying the sunshine while it's here and taking lunches to bike ride and evenings to garden.  That right, the sun is up and my garden is reproducing.  So far I've plucked three squashes, one cucumber, and one zucchini.  There is also a shit load of tomatoes about to turn red, just waiting for those suckers.  And like always, with happiness comes a tear, my pepper plants are dying.  I don't know what to do with them.  I water them, I care for them, and even sometimes sing outside, but they just won't grow up.  Little stubborn punks.


Lately, I've been obsessed with Spain.

Been reading up on it's culture, some of its history, but mostly its cooking.  A good Spanish dish is an amazing and simple creation.  It lives without too much complication or spices unlike it westbound neighbor Portugal.  I've only reached the middle of the country, by the Castiles and the oh-so-well-know La Mancha, home of the Don Quixote.  It's been a pleasant trip, and enjoying it in Arkansas allows me to not endure the noxious weather luring in its homeland.  You see, while we enjoy a nice well-rounded four seasons, Spain sits through a nine month winter and a hell-like three month summer.  The lands of Castile, both north and south, are also surrounded by large mountain ranges and many meagre, almost baron communities, unlike its famous Madrid.  Madrid is the screwball virgin in the whore house.  (Not really sure why I used that analogy; maybe it's the fact that I've been watching a lot of Game of Thones where whore houses are very popular). Anyways, the crossroads of Madrid is a cultural gangbang of culinary pleasures.  A fancy hotdog.  Ok Bob, enough with the comparisons.  For the rest of central Spain, food is not about eccentric plating or something to talk about, it's about keeping the common warm through the harsh winter or cooling him during the summertime. It's about a nascent tomorrow, making dreams for it and pursuing them again and again because you are alive and can do it.  Here's a little taste of that realization with soup.

Sopa de Ajo (Spicy Garlic Soup)
Ingredients:
1/4 cup of olive oil
1 1/2 tbs of chopped garlic
1 1/2 cup of coarsely crumbled bread
1/2 tsp of paprika
3 cups of water
1/2 tsp of salt
1/8 tsp of cayenne
1 egg, beaten (or not)

Instructions:
Get a small sauce pan, add olive oil, and warm it up on the stove on medium low heat.  After a couple of minutes, add garlic and cook until it starts turning a light brown in color.  Next add bread crumbs and mix with wooden spoon.  (You don't have to mix with a wooden spoon, but it does feel more authentic).  Make sure you don't burn the bread, constantly play with it.  Once it looks toasty, add paprika and mix it with the breadcrumbs.  A minute or less later, add the water, cayenne, and salt.  Mix it up and bring soup to a boil.  Once at boil lower temperature and simmer on low heat for about 30 minutes.  When the time goes off, swirl the soup around with your mixing utensil of choice, making sure all the bread is broken up.  Take pot off heat and slowly mix in beaten egg, stirring constantly to ensure it does not curdle.  (An alternative option is to add a full egg to the pot and poaching the egg).  Now pour the soup in a serving bowl and present to hungry people!


Question of the day:
What is your favorite type of firework?

New life, new recipe

Hello.  Bob here.  It's summer time, finally.  Although it doesn't feel like summer too much with shit tons of rains hitting us everyday.  But my roses are blooming and the birds built a new nest in my light fixture outside so it's got to be nearly here.
I've been doing a lot, and a lot has changed.  I've started a garden which was almost completely wiped out from the flood (not the halo infestation).  I've also decided to go back to school for Food Science, and I've decided to sell my house.  Yep, I'm growing up and becoming a kid with a complete 180.  I think you got to change sometimes to keep life interesting.

I like doing summer right, so I'm beginning it with a bang!  This 10 gauge shotgun is called LR's Riverfest.  And it's double barrels are shooting off two shells named Poison and Nelly.  I'll probably check out Creekfest in Russvegas as well.  The following weekend is LR's Film Festival, 5 days of watching films and partying.  Next up, Bonnaroo.  Here's a festival where you camp, drink, talk and enjoy lots of really bad ass bands.  On the lineup we've got Arcade Fire, My Morning Jacket, Scissor Sisters, Lil Wayne, Primus, Explosions in the Sky, Neil Young and more!!

Recipe time!
Seeing how I'm looking into the world of food and the chemical reactions that make it taste oh sooo good, I've been reading a lot of science books and cooking even more than usual.  Here's on my latest creations, a rustic beer stew I call The Rhineland Stout Massacre.


Ingredients:
1 onion
3 carrots
1 large potato
4 broccoli forets
3/4 sam adams cream stout
2/3 cup of chicken stock
1 tablespoon of apple vinegar
2 tbs of butter
1 tbs of flour
1/2 cup of fresh parsely
1 tbs of dried marjoram
2 tsp of ground sage
1 bay leaf
2 tomatoes with 1 tsp of tomato paste or 2/3 cup of tomato sauce

Instructions:

Bring out grandma's skillet, toss with one part olive oil and one part butter, and add in the veggies (onion, carrots, potato, broccoli).  Cook for about five minutes at medium heat and then add spices (parsley, marjoram, sage, bay leaf).  Cook for another five minutes at medium heat.  Meanwhile, in a separate pan, cook flour and butter together to create a roux.   Next add roux, beer, chicken stock, and tomato sauce or concoction to the skillet.  Bring to boil and then lower heat to a simmer.  Let it stew for about thirty minutes.  Add apple vinegar and cook for an additional five minutes.  Turn off stove and enjoy over a bed of rice or spaetzle.  Yum Yum!

Question of the day:

What is your favorite beer?

Symbiosis and Lists

Some people have a very addictive nature.  They find a certain person, place or thing and attach themselves to it.  This symbiotic relationship can be for the better or the worse.  You see, symbiosis comes in three flavors:  The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.  Actually there is another form called Amensalism, but we'll leave that for another day so I can use my Sergio Leone reference.  The Good involves an attachment where both the sides gain a benefit.  A perfect cycle of continual partying where the booze is cheap and the chicks are hot.  The Bad is when only one side gets pleasure while the other doesn't give a shit.  This is the guy who shows up to the party wearing a tie-dye shirt and carrying a neon-flashing hula hoop. He's going to have a fucking blast.  And last comes The Ugly, a parasitic relationship where one side gains while the other loses.  It's the asshole who steals your date and your cat.

I'm not a very addictive person.  I can barely concentrate on things for longer than a couple of minutes.  Don't believe me, have a conversation with me.  I'll either entertain you or piss you off.   In my world, curiosity and daydreaming is King.  And with both gestures come sticky notes and lists.  Here's a few list for you.

Current crushes from the 80s:

   Audrey Rouget

    Sherilyn Fenn

    Helen Slater

    Lita Ford

I order these every time I see them on the menu:

1. Reuben

2. Fish Tacos

3. Curry

People I currently want to hang out with:

1. Bill Murray

2. Special Agent Dale Cooper

3. John Locke

Places I've been recently:

1. Wizard of Oz Sing-a-long

2. Megalodon Exhibit

3. Kansas

4. Keeper of the Planes

Things on my mind:

1. Twin Peaks

2. Stir fry

3. Gardening

4. Robots

Questions of the day:

What is your favorite things to list? 

Planes and Coasters

I'm on a plane again.  Except this time, I feel different.  I'm not going on an adventure, or an unknown place, I'm heading home.  Home to the same old faces, the same old job, and the same stale air of Rogers.  It's nice to settle for the same, but I'm too young.  I don't want it now.

I should have kept with my childhood dreams and become an astronaut.  A space cowboy.  I still blame my parents for not letting me go to space camp (lol).  Heck, I space out enough,  I might as well be there.  The quickest high I can get now is planes and roller coasters.  The quick thrills of being weightless for a split second and the strange feeling of having your balls sucked up in your body cavity.  To see above the clouds and crowds of people is just spectacular.  It might be a superiority thing or whatever, I don't know.  But whatever it might be, it makes me feel awesome and worth two shits.

Talking about coasters, I recently went to Seaworld.  They have two new coasters since the last time I visited which involved me standing too close to the Shamu tank (bad idea!).  Epic roller coaster names: Manta and Kraken.  Yeah, dangerous shit.  Just throw in a mechanical shark or a crocosaurus and you've got an Asylum production.  These coasters are two furious beasts both in nature and pure steel.  The Kracken is a legendary steel floorless coaster with speeds only second to the fastest Seaworld attraction, Steel Eel, around 65mph.  It boasts a 144-foot drop which leads into an epic 119-foot vertical loop.  The Manta is a flying roller coaster that is intended to create the experience of flight by tilting the passengers horizontally with the ground.  It has got a lot of twists and turns that includes a face-jarring 98-foot tall pretzel loop and a counter-clockwise inline twist that places 3G forces against your puny  human face.

Music lately:
Bright Eyes - The People's Key
Tennis - Cape Dory

Pic of day:

Questions of the day:

What is your favorite time travelling movie?