I like yoga. Not the metaphysical bullshit a lot of people associate with the term, but the physicality and relaxation I seem to find with it. I don't believe in chi or chakras, which are completely made up and only make you sound like an asshole when you talk about it. I do believe that taking long, over-drawn breaths can over-oxidize your brain creating a high, and stretching and working out muscles that don't get a lot of attention is good food for you. Ok, with all that being said, let me tell you somethings that piss me off about yoga classes, which I've had to resort to since my house is now too far away for lunch.
People Breakdown:
1. Fat Bitch - That one fat person that tries to start conversation with the instructor in the middle of a sun salutation.
2. Old Bitch - That one old person that requests alternative poses, thus destroying the idea of getting a decent workout.
3. Reoccuring Bitch - That one person that shows up to every class to give bad looks to newcomers and clap at the end of every session.
(By the way, the term Bitch is referring to a man or woman, excluding the "Fat Bitch" who is always a woman. I've just never seen a fat dude participate in a yoga class)
Move Breakdown:
1. Mooing Cow - I'm not even sure this is a real move or I've got the name correct, but it's completely useless. Position description: doggy-style without a partner
2. Six Sun Salutations in a Row - I just don't understand why we can't add a couple of harder positions into each cycle.
3. Long Pauses - If I wanted to rest, I'd be sitting my ass on a couch, watching The Wire, and stuffing my face with Doritos.
Picture of the Day
Question of the Day
Would you rather see a Ghostbusters prequel or Bill and Ted sequel?
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